Hello ladies, and welcome to my very first blog post under La Safitoune. Today, we’re diving straight into the deep stuff: friendships breakups. It’s a new year (hello, 2025) and I’ve been reflecting on 2024. When I look back, I can’t help but think about how much friendship breakups shaped my year.
So, what is a friendship breakup?
Technically, a breakup is when a relationship ends, and we usually associate that with romantic relationships. But friendship breakups? They hit differently. Honestly, I think losing a close friend (especially a female friend) hurts way more than losing a boyfriend or a situationship.
Here’s the thing: romantic partners come and go (until you meet “the one”), but friendships feel like they’re supposed to last forever. Losing a best friend feels like losing a part of yourself. Especially since I highly value my girlfriends and our friendships.
For me, 2024 was all about big changes. I moved from Canada to France, and naturally, some friendships just didn’t survive the distance. It’s normal—you grow apart, you’re no longer on the same page. You no longer have the same priorities. Some friends were easier to let go of because, well, I moved 5,000 kilometers away. But being new in France and not knowing anyone, I really tried to put myself out there and make new friends.
To be honest, I was skeptical at first, but surprisingly, Twitter ( yes, TWITTER) helped me find a group of women I clicked with. We connected over shared cultural backgrounds and built what I thought was a genuine friendship outside of social media. But by December, things took a drastic and painful turn. A misunderstanding led to a falling-out, and suddenly, half the group not only stopped talking to me but also started backbiting me. It wasn’t just a breakup, it felt like a full-blown smear campaign.
I won’t lie, it was devastating. I was already struggling to adapt to a new country, and this experience left me feeling isolated and betrayed. Add to that the stress of exams and dealing with borderline personality disorder (BPD), it became overwhelming. There were moments of deep sadness, even darker thoughts, and I was just trying to make sense of it all.
What hurt the most wasn’t just losing the friendship but the way it ended. The lack of empathy. I believe in keeping someone’s secrets, even if you’re no longer close. Yet, in today’s social media-driven world, it’s too easy to humiliate or expose someone out of anger or spite.
Friendship breakups, especially in your twenties, are a natural part of life. Sometimes, you just outgrow each other or have different priorities, and that’s okay. But let’s not forget basic respect—if someone trusted you, don’t use their vulnerability against them and always prioritize communication over disrespect.
Reflections and accountability
Looking back, I feel like I also hold some responsibility for the friendship breakup. I ignored signs that we weren’t truly compatible and chose to overlook things that should have been red flags. But it’s not just about that, I also realize I’ve ignored opportunities to build friendships with people who were genuine and kind.
Sometimes, I’ve gravitated toward people who later hurt me, while overlooking others who were calm, nice, and truly caring. For example, on Twitter, I’ve came across people who were warm and supportive, but I didn’t give those connections the attention they deserved. This has been a lesson for me because it’s not the first time I’ve trusted the wrong people over those who actually had good intentions.
In situations like this, I think it’s so important to take a step back and reflect, not just on the other person’s actions, but also on your own. You can’t control what others do, but you can control your own choices and how you respond. Taking accountability and learning from these experiences is key to growing and building healthier relationships in the future.
If there’s one thing I can tell you, it’s this: reciprocity is key. Friendship should feel mutual, not one-sided. And unfortunately, many women carry baggage from past friendships into new ones, sometimes projecting that onto you. It’s so important to recognize red flags early on and trust your gut.
To anyone reading this who’s going through a friendship breakup, know that it’s okay to grieve. Take your time, process the pain, but also remember: the right people will never make you question your worth and if over a misunderstanding you lose someone, they never actually liked you.
- XOXO, Safitoune